I’ve been putting off my first blog post for an eternity it seems, or twelve months to be precise, the crux of the matter being that I have really been overthinking the whole thing, until it became this huge thing. I’ve been drifting off to sleep at night composing a first entry in my mind, then come morning it just seemed a bit in the past and not relevant anymore. Then last week I was out for a friends birthday lunch and got chatting to a fellow guest who happened to have a creative background, and was a hypnotherapist whose interest was helping artists with creative block, “oh my word!” I exclaimed, “I think I’ve been suffering from creative block since halfway through my degree!” And that, dear reader, was ten years ago. To gloss over the lengthy chat we had I told him I’d been in the creative wilderness since then and when I hit the grand age of thirty one I kind of had this epiphany, that I didn’t just want to do Mummy things and work anymore, I wanted to get back to my creative self. Now I have lots and lots of ideas, but as far as putting them into practise goes…well I don’t, and if I do it is at a snails pace. “I just can’t seem to find the time” I bemoaned, and with three children aged between ten months and six I have the perfect excuse to ‘not be able to get on with anything’, right? He looked at me and bluntly said, “you’re procrastinating.” Now hang on a minute, I thought, isn’t procrastination a polite way of calling somebody lazy? It’s surely someone who is putting something off by finding ‘better’ things to do. To cut a lot of inner wrangling short, I realised I do indeed use my children as an excuse to not be able to get anything done, for instance if I am an hour or two off school pick up, lunchtime, nap time…you get the picture! I don’t start anything as I feel there is no point because I won’t be able to make enough progress. The truth is an hour or two is plenty of time to get things done, and let’s face it with three children I am always going to be an hour or two away from being needed. So yes, I admitted I was a procrastinator and an over thinker and I definitely needed to be more of a doer instead of whinging about not doing. He told me he needed to set me homework, I totally need to be given deadlines but I also realised that to have my own creative studio and maybe business was my dream, no one else’s and who is going to push me on this if not me? I set myself my own homework, to write my first blog post, and here it is…at last.
I’ve always wanted to have my own little art studio where I could work on projects and maybe even one day set a little business up…one day. Then last year, spurred on by a friend setting her own sewing business up, I decided why not today and thankfully she encouraged me. I bought a second hand shed to be my studio and have been busy doing it up throughout my maternity leave, more on that in future blog posts. My boss on hearing about my shed project really advised blogging about it, I loved this idea and better late than never six months on I’m finally getting round to it. I want this blog to be about my journey back to my creative self, the struggles of juggling time, family and creative blocks, but also in the hope that it helps me increase in confidence and become more of a doer and less of a procrastinator.
Only one of my friends is aware of this blog and has encouraged me to get on with the dreaded first post, and she is likely to be my only reader too! I’m not confident enough yet to share with friends, and also feel I have nothing to show. So many artists and creative businesses seem to appear on social platforms fully fledged and ready to go but here you will hopefully see my idea grow from the start, and pushing myself to create and blog will help me continue.
So, I’ve covered the procrastination, a bit about myself, now on with the pom poms!
As part of my new me getting on with projects I really needed to finish the curtains for my sewing shed so I can move in soon and stop cluttering up the dining room table. I love finding a bag of old material in charity shops and the floral material was from such a find, a bargain at fifty pence. The cream material is from some old curtains. Now I cut this fabric back in November so in the spirit of cracking on with unfinished projects I dug it out and over the next week joined the material together and hemmed. On with the ric rac, easy…and then came the pom poms! After a lot of swearing, changing feet on the machine (a new machine, so this also required poring over the instruction manual) and some restitching I finally got the first of four pom pom edgings done…and then I was done! Nothing puts me off more than struggling to do something so seemingly simple and off I trundled to bed at the rather pathetic time of half nine feeling pretty despondent about how long it had taken me. The next night I couldn’t be bothered starting the faffing again…uh oh! I realised I was procrastinating once again despite my resolve to not.
The next morning after the school run I sat baby down with his toast in the high chair next to me while I got on, now previously I would have used him eating as an excuse to not be able to sew. In no time at all I had finished, in which I proved to myself that I can indeed achieve goals if I stop stalling, whinging, procrastinating and overthinking…and I only had to fish one errant pom pom out of baby’s mouth.